Everyone says that teenagers are the worst, but really, the ages of 10-12 are the most obnoxious years a parent has to endure, mainly because of the hormones, braces, the early onset of acne, strange hair growth, and just the general fact that middle schoolers are some of the most horrible people on EARTH.
Seriously, test yourself for a second:
You are on the subway. What group of people is most quickly going to make you get up and move?
A.) A mariachi band playing "Feliz Navidad"
B.) A gaggle of douchebag stockbrokers discussing about their upcoming holiday ski trips
C.) A group of young girls
You definitely picked C, because young girls—especially when they run in a pack—are fucking terrifying. They will hone in on what you don't like about yourself and call it out. Or worse, they'll stare at you, whisper to each other, and then laugh uproariously, leaving you to spiral silently, wondering what they're laughing at you about. You are suddenly 12 years old again, too. They're probably talking about my ridiculous curly hair, you'll think to yourself.
These girls are hormonal, angry, they literally hate everything, and they are RUDE because they still value honesty (or "keeping it real" as they call it) over preserving people's feelings. All of these things make them an absolute nightmare to buy a gift for. So, we've compiled a PAINSTAKING list of things that the obscenely negative pre-teen girl in your life MIGHT not completely hate. On the eye roll scale of one to ten (one being no eye roll and ten being aneursym-inducing eye roll), we're aiming for a solid five or under. You never know, though. There's always iTunes gift cards. Kids love those.