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Friday
Mar272015

[SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION] Gifts for Bike Nerds

It takes a certain kind of personality to be a biker.  No, I’m not talking about the Hell’s Angels kind of biker, but a bicyclist.  The type of person that loves fresh air and exercise and is okay with arriving to work super sweaty and tempting an early death by weaving in and out of city traffic during rush hour every day.  The type of person who loves the environment so much he wants to protect it by not using up its resources by driving a car.  The type of person who doesn’t mind lugging a bike on the subway after he goes for impromptu drinks.

So, for that person, we’ve rounded up the very best gifts for bike enthusiasts. Ride on/read on.    

Thursday
Mar262015

[GIFTED] Hot Air Balloon Necklace

Up up and awayyyyyyyyyyy in my beautiful, my beautiful BALLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON.  Remember that song?  You probably do if you're old or if you're on the autism spectrum when it comes to multimedia like I am. Basically, "Up, Up, and Away" was a Lawrence Welk-y song from the late 1960s by a group called The 5th Dimension. On the surface, it's about taking a ride in a hot air balloon, but since it's from the 60s, I think we all can assume that it's about getting super high, just like "Puff the Magic Dragon" was (RIP, our childhoods). 

Pay homage to this song (or to getting high) by wearing this whimsical Hot Air Balloon Necklace ($75, Virginie Millefiori). No one will be the wiser.  

Wednesday
Mar252015

[GIFTED] Philosophical Honey 

You've got a friend who's really into the organic crap you can put in your coffee, tea, or smoothies. Agave Nectar, chia seeds, BEE POLLEN, whatever the fuck.  It all sounds weird.  But, whatever, it's her cup of tea, right?  LITERALLY, HAHAHAHAHA.  

Give her a new reason to be self-righteous every morning by gifting her this set of Philosophical Honey ($39, School of Life), which includes three honeys sourced from the birthplaces of three great Greek philosophers (Plato, Zeno, and Epicurus).  THE NECTAR OF THE GODSSSSSSS, amiright??!

Tuesday
Mar242015

[SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION] Gifts a Golden Girls Obsessive

The Golden Girls has been off the air for over 20 years, but thanks to countless reruns on the Hallmark Channel and DVD box sets, our favorite old ladies will live on forever, even after all of them have kicked the bucket (which, of course, all of them already HAVE, aside from Betty White, who will NEVER DIE).  It's because of those reruns that children of the 80s and 90s have developed a cult-like obsession with a series about four old women living in Miami in the 80s.  

And for those people—the ones who break out into a rendition of "Miami, You've Got Style" at the mere mention of the state of Florida—I created a list of 8 gifts perfect for Golden Girls Obsessives on Beamly.  Any item on the list is even better than "The Men of Blanche's Boudoir" calendar or a visit from Aunt Angela all the way from Sicily. 

1. Dorothy Zbornak Mug ($16, Peachy Apricot): There are very few women in TV who were allowed to be as unabashedly grumpy as Dorothy Zbornack was, and God bless that old crankpot because she delivered some of the most acid-tongued lines in TV history.  And that's why every Golden Girls obsessive will love to start their day with coffee served in a cup that has Dorothy's grumpy face on it.  It's a face that says, "Ugh, we gotta get up and do this shit AGAIN?"  Bonus: the back of the mug includes Dorothy's iconic line, "Why I don't I just wear a sign that says 'Too Ugly to Live'?"  
    
2. Golden Girls Necklace ($140, Anomaly Jewelry): Perhaps one of the very best Golden Girls products you can find, these stamped, silver necklaces (one available for each girl and there's even one for STAN) are literally perfect. If you're dating a Golden Girls obsessive, this necklace can be a stand-in for an engagement ring. 

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Monday
Mar232015

[GIFTED] Bulldog Treat Jar

How meta would it be for you to give your bulldog a dog treat from a Bulldog Treat Jar ($20, Target)?  SO META.  Sure, this Treat Jar would be perfect for any dog, or it would be a cute place to put stuff like sugar or flour or cereal or cocaine, but let's try to use it as it was truly intended for, shall we?  A treat jar for a bull dog.

Get on it, people who own bull dogs.  Get on it.