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[GIFTED] Mom Said So Tray



When you were a kid, there was nothing more infuriating than hearing the classic mom phrase "…because I said so."  Nobody but your mother and the president can get away with saying that shit to you.  And she said that shit to you A LOT.  The only thing she said to you more was "They're just jealous of you!" whenever anyone made fun of you or whenever you had conflict with anyone in any way.  Faulty Mom logic be damned, it got her through a hell of a lot of years dealing with your dramatic ass. That's why she'll cry and cry and cry when you gift her this Mom Said So Tray ($60, Kate Spade), emblazoned with all of the cliche things she would say to you when you were a kid.  It'll send the message, "Look mom, I WAS listening." 

[GIFTED] The World is Your Oyster Print

Everyone is always talking about how important work/life balance is, and of course that's very true.  But the thing is, even if you're making a concerted effort to leave work at work and reclaim your personal time for yourself and your loved ones, it is H-A-R-D to not let work bullshit get to you.  Why?  Because you spend nearly ALL of your time there.  There are people who can just show up and leave and not think or care or bitch about anything work-related until 9AM the next morning, but most of us CANNOT do that.

And because we can't do that, it's easy to get down on your situation.  You're unhappy, you want a change, you're not getting paid what you deserve—whatever it is.  It's easy to get into that hole and stay there.  

That's why it's so important to remind yourself that you live in America and because of that, you can literally do WHATEVER you want to do.  Literally, anything.  You want to learn about beer?  Go learn about beer.  You want to quit your job and work at a Barnes & Noble for a few months while you figure it out?  You can do that too.  THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER.  Get this The World is Your Oyster Framed Print ($68, Katie Kime) and put it in a prominent place in your home.  It'll serve a good reminder.  Also, eating oysters is never a bad idea. Let's go get some oysters.  I know a place. 


[GIFTED] Call Me Old Fashioned Print

When Mad Men started in 2007, the scripted television Renaissance was in its infancy.  Mad Men helped usher it in. Without Mad Men, there'd be no Breaking Bad.  Without Mad Men, AMC would still be airing the shittiest films from the 50s that it could license.  

So, as Mad Men devotees, we all watched last night's premiere episode of the show's final season—because even though AMC and Matt Weiner have decided to drag out the slowwwwww demise of already kinda slowwwwwww show, we're all still pumped that it's back for the final handful of episodes.  Right?  Right. 

Why are we still so into this show?  Back when Mad Men first started, everyone was INTO the 60's lifestyle. LET'S ALL WEAR POCKET SQUARES AND GET SHITFACED AT LUNCH, we said.  I WANNA BE JUST LIKE DON DRAPER—HE'S A BAD ASS, we declared.  But as the Don Draper character evolved (or, devolved), the drinking and the partying looked less entertaining and more sad.  Fucking the neighbor lady in the laundry room looked less like a fun romp and more like pitiable compulsion, especially when we see it through Sally's eyes.  When Ginsberg cut off his nipple, he also cut off our good times.  OKAY, WHERE ARE WE GOINGGGGG WITH THIS??, we all wondered.  But even though we all know that Draper now looks less dashing and more desperate, we're still hanging on—for the glory days of the 1960s, yes, but also the glory days of Mad Men.  We all want the simplicity of being old-fashioned, even if we can't have it anymore.  

Hang this Call Me Old Fashioned Framed Print ($72, Katie Kime) as a tribute to Draper, and his favorite cocktail. He's only got a few of them left. 


[GIFTED] Bae-Sic Betch Valentine's Day Gift Box

If you are in your late 20's or early 30's, a few months ago, you started seeing the word "bae" everywhere and were confused, then intrigued.  It was all over the Instagram captions of younger family members.  It was in headlines of countless Buzzfeed articles.  

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!??! You wondered.  There are conflicting views on what it actually stands for—most people agree that it's just a way to refer to your significant other (see: "my boo"), some people say it actually stands for "before anyone else"—but all you really need to know is that it's a term of endearment and also that you probably shouldn't use it unless you are an urban youth or you are Beyonce (you're not Beyonce).  

But if you don't heed my advice and still use it even though you're not young or Beyonce, than get your bae this Bae-Sic Betch Valentine's Day Gift Box ($60, With Love from Brooklyn) filled with sweet treats perfect for the lady you put before anyone else. 


[GIFTED] Scrubba Wash Bag

You've got a friend who's always going camping.  He tells you that he's going "off the grid" for two weeks in the summer and you can't imagine not having air conditioning for two minutes, let alone two weeks.  Whatever.  We're all different, just like snowflakes. 

The thing about camping and hiking and all that physical, outdoorsy activity is that you get sweaty, and muddy, and dusty, and smelly.  All of the clothes that you bring have to fit in your backpack, so the only option your outdoorsy friend has is to wear those gross clothes or, I don't know, wash them in a stream and beat them against a rock like crazy hill people do (sounds like an awesome vacation). 

NOT ANYMORE, though.  Enter the Scrubba Wash Bag ($60).  All your friend has to do is add water, some soap, close the bag, rub it for a few minutes, rinse and rub again, and then hang to try on a nearby tree branch or some shit.  This produces the cleanest clothes you're going to get when you're in the middle of the wilderness, making it the best gift your outdoorsy friend will ever receive.  It might even help him convince his girlfriend to go camping with him.