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[GIFTED] Vacation Sweatshirt

There's piles of research that shows that the cure to what ails most people is very simple: a goddamned vacation.  Feeling restless?  Vacation.  Feeling stressed?  Vacation.  Feeling tired and overworked?  Vacation. Feeling like you're frittering away your youth in an office?  Vacation—one where you spend 80% of it outside.

Since vacation is almost always the right answer, it'll be good to invest in this Vacation Sweatshirt ($62, ILY Couture).  Think of all of the Instagrammable moments you'll have while wearing this—on the plane, having a cocktail on the balcony of your hotel room, and every other douchey pose you can think of to make your non-vacationing friends green with envy.   


[GIFTED] Retro Nintendo Cartridge Cutting Board

If you were a 90's kid, you probably spent an inordinate amount of time playing the original Nintendo, sorting through a bunch of cartridges that were considered the HEIGHT OF TECHNOLOGY back then but were each essentially the size of an iPad Mini.  Clunky doesn't even begin to describe them, and let's all agree to forget about the tech-savvy way we got a glitchy cartridge to work (by literally blowing on the bottom).     

Of course, our old Nintendo cartridges are relics of the past, but looking at one for two seconds can instantly transport us all into Nostalgialand, which is why anyone who was obsessed with NES will kvell over this Retro Nintendo Cartridge Cutting Board ($50, Cutting Boredom).  You can choose the wood you want (walnut, maple, cherry, or mahogany) and also get it engraved for an extra fee.  

You might be an adult now and you have to chop up vegetables for a healthy dinner, but you can look down at this cutting board and remember simple times—like when you would play endless hours of Super Mario Bros. 3, stopping only to heat up a plate of Totino's Pizza Rolls for dinner.  God bless the 90s. 


[GIFTED] IceMule Cooler

Listen—everyone likes to enjoy nature, but you know how to best enjoy nature?  With a drink in your hand. Whether you're gearing up for a day in the park, on the beach, or cracking open a beer at the end of a long hike, a portable cooler is your friend.  The problem, of course, is that so many portable coolers fall short of their duties.  You use them a couple of times and they start to leak.  They claim to hold endless amounts of drinks but are totally unwieldy to carry.  Enter the IceMule Cooler ($60), which is sturdy and easy to carry.  

Fill it with 12-15 cans and ice—it won't leak because it has reinforced seams created to combat exactly that. And because it's made to be carried like a backpack, you won't find yourself struggling to carry it to the beach like a tote bag.  With webbed pockets on the outside, you can store other stuff like bottle openers and other booze acoutrements.  Cheers, you hauled it, you earned it. 


[GIFTED] Leather iPhone Case Set 

Your father gets mad at you for your "frivolous lifestyle"—you spend too much on travel or booze or fancy dinners.  YOU SHOULD BE SAVING FOR A HOUSE—or as Grampa Simpson once suggested, "new storm windows"—not enjoying the limited free time you have in this stupid life where all we do is work and sleep.

It's a generational thing, so you're never going to win.  His generation didn't have the lust for travel that ours does.  His generation still thinks that you should be BUYING PROPERTY IMMEDIATELY, ignoring the fact that buying a house or apartment in any major US city is nearly impossible unless you're an investment banker.

Since you'll never convince him that living a life that looks different than the one he lived isn't "frivolous" as much as it's just "different," you might as well just keep pissing him off.  Book that trip.  Buy something ridiculous, like an iPhone case that costs almost $100.  Allow us to suggest this one from Native Union. Crafted out of fine leather that will patina well as you knock your phone around, and it comes with a stripey charging cable so you'll never get yours confused with someone else's.  Sorry, dad.  


[GIFTED] Bad Bitches Pillow

What better way to say "Happy Valentine's Day" to your favorite badass than with this Bad Bitches Pillow ($68, Furbish Studio)?  She'll proudly display it in her home and when her mom visits she'll pretend that she doesn't like it even though she secretly does.  Mission accomplished.