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[GIFTED] Thom Dolan Land-Ho Bracelet

The funny thing about magazines is that they are almost always contradicting themselves.  One month, there's a story where they're saying, "OMG LINDSAY LOHAN IS SO FAT" (because she's like, 130lbs, which is 10lbs less than my ultimate goal weight, FYI).  Then, the next month, they run a story where they're all like, "OMG LINDSAY LOHAN IS SO SKINNY!"

Weird, guys, I wonder how that happened.

This is why I typically turn to men's magazines.  Rope bracelets are supposedly the "hot new thing" for this summer, but I saw in this month's GQ that they were giving a dude a makeover, saying that wearing rope bracelets made him look young and unserious.  

Whatever, GQ, I never feel better than when I'm wearing my beloved rope bracelet

This Land-Ho Bracelet ($30, Saturdays NYC) is a good one to have, and it's way cheaper than the Miansai ones.  You'll look like you belong on a boat or on a deserted island when you put this thing on, amiright?


[GIFTED] Jack Spade Cloth iPhone Cases

How big of a d-bag am I for spending over $100 on an iPhone case?  The answer?  The biggest d-bag in the world.  Like, Bernie Madoff level d-bag.  I know this.

You can dress up your iPhone for less with these new Fabric iPhone Cases ($40 each, Jack Spade).  Look at how preppy, look at how stylish.  You are a champion. 


[GIFTED] Sera Dopp Kit

Yes, everyone, I've been making quite a lot of Disney movie references, but how can I not when this Pochahontas-esque toiletry kit finds its way to my inbox?

Girlfriend, you can paint with all the colors of the wind (or, failing that, all the colors of Maybelline) and store it all in this nice Sera Dopp Kit ($49.50, Hammocks & High Tea).


[GIFTED] Literary Art iPhone Cases

Oh, what's up nerds?  You love the classics so much that you want everyone to know?  Now you can, with these Literary Art iPhone Cases ($35, Uncommon Goods).  Be aware of this, though: if you put the cover of The Catcher in the Rye on your iPhone, it will automatically become an "iPhony." 

See what I did there?  I made a LITERARY JOKE.  JEALOUS?


[GIFTED] Fucking Love You Print

What's that you say?  You're dead inside?  The minute after you say something emotional, you follow it up with a joke?  Join the club!

But, despite the fact that you're emotionally retarded, you've tricked someone into being in a relationship with you.  Now you're faced with having to talk about your feelings.  ALLLLLLLL OF THE TIME.

When it comes to gift giving to your beloved, you have two choices: you could stare deep into your lover's eyes, breath heavily, tear up and softly say "I love you," or you could get real and hand them this Fucking Love You Print ($35, Etsy).  Your choice.