Entries in under $25 (434)
When you first moved to a big city after college, you had absolutely no problem throwing a huge amount of money away everyday at your favorite local coffee shop. Your hipster transformation began as soon as you rejected Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts as too pedestrian, in favor of more expensive, fair trade mocha loca choca concoctions.
"I am a cool city person now," you'd say to yourself every morning, handing over money you didn't have for a $6 latte. Suddenly, you were wearing more and more flannel. You were wearing "fashionable" glasses that were once worn only by child molesters. Then you moved into your late 20s and realized that you have been working for almost 10 years and have no savings. Your hipster coffee addiction (as well as other nighttime vices) has cost you any semblance of a nest egg you might have had if you just drank the brown sludge they gave you for free at work.
You decide to tighten the belt to start saving the money you should have been saving all along. You look yourself squarely in the mirror and say, "Hey! No more fancy coffees, you spoiled asshole! You need to make your own coffee at home and take it to work in a travel mug like every other suburban loser!"
BUT, just because you've decided to be more economical and make your coffee at home doesn't mean you have to sacrifice taste. You can get yourself a Rhetoric Coffee Subscription (starts at $15 per month) that delivers fresh, unique roasts directly to your door each month. Bonus: each bag is screen-printed with an original piece of art commissioned from comic book artists. You might not be able to go to your hipster coffee shop anymore, but original comic book artwork on the bag of beans you're going to brew at home is pretty damn obnoxious (slash awesome), right?
Truly, the least cool people in history are the people who want to ban books. They're so afraid of things that are different and new ideas that might be a little controversial that rather than just being like, "Hey, that's not for me," they're all like, "I MUST DESTROY THIS THING I'M SO AFRAID OF." These crybaby lunatics tried to keep people from reading innocuous books like Alice in Wonderland and Ulysses (though maybe you would've read that boring book in high school if your English teacher led with "THIS BOOK WAS BANNED" instead of "And the assigned reading for tonight is...").
All of this hand-wringing and pearl-clutching seems so ridiculous now, but any time there's a mob mentality flowing through society (and there still is, if you want to take a look at footage of a Trump rally), there's room for the crazies to start jumping on the censorship bandwagon. BANNED BOOKS WILL FOREVER BE A THREAT, which is why literary nerds are so into them.
You know, read a banned book and you're a rebel—that kind of shit. That's why the literary nerd in your life will love this Banned Books Mug ($12, Out of Print), which is equipped with a heat censor that reveals the banned books that are blacked out on the mug when not in-use.
Swimming lessons can be hard for a kid with an aversion to water, and if you're NOT the kind of parent who's technique is to just throw your kid into the pool and let them figure it out themselves, you're probably looking for a way to make the experience more fun and less scary. With these fun Animal Swim Caps ($10 each, Finis), your kid will be the talk of her local Howard Johnson's swim class, and maybe give her some incentive to get into the pool. Godspeed.
There are two kinds of people: the kind of people who wake up happy and greet the day with enthusiasm, and the kind of people who don't really snap into things until around 11am. These are the people who boast Garfield-levels of Monday morning-hating and are those who have gotten broken up with because of their grumbly, snappish nature in the early mornings.
"DON'T TALK TO ME UNTIL I'VE HAD MY COFFEE," they warn, as if that's a sensible thing for an adult with a job to say out loud to anyone.
The thing with people who aren't "morning people," though, is that they're inevitably night owls (it could be argued that the reason why they're not morning people is because they stay up so late at night—sleep deprivation makes everyone pissy). They might not be a party in the AM, but you can bet your ass they're a barrel of laughs in the PM.
For the type of people who are just grouches 'round the clock, though, this Morning People Mug ($16, Plasticland) is perfect. They don't like morning people. Or mornings. Or people. Enjoy your coffee!